Thursday, June 22, 2006

The Fuck-up

I was at a party last night and a friend of mine was talking about her brother's annoying habit of rescheduling. He comes to town to visit and then repeatedly reschedules plans he's made with her even on the day the plans were made for. That's a supremely bad habit, it tells the people you do it to that you think your timetable is more important than theirs.
Now this kind of behaviour is quite familiar to me, my father is a very serious offender on this front. I decided at a very young age that if I didn't have time for people for whom I was not a priority - if someone is too busy to make time for me - then I'm not going to wait around until they have that time, because, let's face it, if they cared, then they'd have all the time in the world.
But, as is often the case, even the strongest willed of us make exceptions in their rules.

I have a friend who is a fuck-up, many of you will know who I'm talking about, he may be reading this. This friend, comes into town once or twice a year and stays with friends and then ships back out. He can't ever seem to get his shit together and make plans ahead of time with anyone. If he does, they are subject to change at no notice. He's flaky.
So this boy was coming into town today. Firstly, it was like pulling teeth to get him to tell me his flight info so I'd know what day and what time he was getting in. I waited home for him all day. He was supposed to land at 1:40 pm, at 5:25 pm I see that he's signed into messenger. I point out that it would have been the polite thing to do to call me at his first opportunity - an opportunity that he's obviously had since he's managed to find a computer. Instead of agreeing with me and apologizing he came up with every excuse in the book about flight delays and this and that. And announces that he's staying with another friend and hanging out with her tonight. I didn't bother to mention that I'd cancelled my plans for this evening to spend time with him - since I'm sure no apology would have been forthcoming.
Why am I friends with a guy who doesn't seem to mind wasting my time? Why am I friends with him still when I wouldn't take that kind of treatment from anyone else? I'm not sure really, I'm obviously not a push-over, not across the board anyway, so why do I let one person get away with this? It's funny how that works sometimes, where you'd tell anyone else to go to hell if they treated you like that, but one or two people always seem to get away with it. I have half a mind to return the favour and flake out on him - bitching about it doesn't seem to do any good, so it's the next logical step. We'll see I guess.

7 comments:

Miss Ash said...

Moe did the same thing this time around. Got into town and for 3 days a bunch of us called him, emailed him, texted him and no response. Finally he called me, a bunch of us made plans and he was to call me that day to figure out where we were going. Melissa had her mom babysitting hunter, lori's friend Julie was at home getting ready, Tommy T was waiting to hear where we were going, and the fucker ditched us, at 10pm he texted mel that he would have to cancel and make it for the next evening. The next evening came and went and noone heard from him. Turns out he had to go out of town but a phone call would have been nice. I guess they are just selfish people who think that noone has anything better to do than to sit around and wait for them.

Jennifer said...

Maybe we should do that to him when we go to visit! It would be quite the accomplishment though if we stay with him.

Miss Ash said...

I already told him i'd go down there and stay for the week and call him on my last day there to hang out LOL

Trib said...

It sounds as if you're ready to cut him loose. I would just be busy and stay busy next time he comes or just go do whatever you would have and then if he calls you can invite him to meet you.

Princess Pessimism said...

I had someone very much like your friend who could get awawy with anything, and although it wasnt alright, I ignored it....I dont know what it is about some people, because I wouldnt have put up with that shit from anyone else....

Thats the thing Jenni...we're TOO nice to people...and since ive learned that I am wasting too much time on people who dont deserve it, ive decided that I can be meaner to the people I would readily call a fucking idiot. *none of my regulars, of course, but we had this conversation last night, you know who im referring to*

slopmaster said...

You must like hanging out with him to put up with all the BS. If people flake out on me, I know they don't want to hang out with me, so I just don't hang out with them. I'm not going to burn a bridge, but don't cancel other things for him.

Jennifer said...

Slop,
You hit the nail right on the head. I did go out with him later and he appologized, so it all worked out in the end. But, next time, no cancelling other stuff for him.