Wednesday, February 07, 2007

I'm SAD


I get bummed in February, it's just the cost of living in a northern climate. Once, I actually slept in for a night class. Other times, I've told people that I don't answer the phone in February.
This year I decided to be proactive in avoiding the seasonal affect. So, I decided among other things to go to a tanning salon. Not to actually get a tan, just to get a bit of 'sun' exposure, and hopefully not be so drag ass. And I don't want everyone giving me a whole lot of BS about this, because, I know tanning is dangerous, I know that it'll give you skin cancer. I'm the biggest advocate of staying out of the sun that there ever was. Ask Ashley.
Anyway, I went into the foreign land of the tanning salon for the first time last night. The girl who worked there obviously had no idea why I would want to go in the tanning bed for such a short amount of time. She kept refering to me getting a base to begin with. I tried to explain to her that I was happy to be pasty white for the rest of my life, that I just needed to go in for a few minutes, and she kept saying if you only do it for a few minutes you won't get any colour. Whatever, I let her talk me into 5 minutes when I only wanted 2.
While reading my book and waiting for my slot people kept going in and coming out, beet red. I was looking at them over my book, the clerk kept saying, "Oh you look great!" What?! They looked like lobsters who had been boiled in a pot. So weird.
When it was my turn to go in, I wasn't sure how much clothing to remove, I took my coat off and then debated about what else. The spray bottle of tanning bed cleaner in the room made me feel better about the whole situation, but I still wasn't too sure I wanted my bare ass touching the same place that the bare asses of strangers, lobster looking strangers, had recently been. And as it turns out you can't hover over a tanning bed the way you can over a ladies toilet. Then there was the question of my socks, on or off, I don't ever want to have athlete's foot again, but on the other hand, why get sock tan when you don't have to? So I had this entire crisis in the room about what to wear in a tanning bed where no one would see me. The only thing I was sure of was that I needed to keep my face and neck covered.
In the end, I decided, got in and tried desperately to keep my eyes covered while groping for the handle to pull the lid down. I laid there imagining myself aging by the second, feeling my skin burning off. And, when I got out, there was absolutely no difference, except that my wool sweater was just a little bit more scratchy than it had been 5 minutes before.
When I left the clerk smirked at me and asked how it was, I said fine. She didn't tell me I looked great. And I was glad.

7 comments:

tokyo tintin said...

The real question is, do you actually feel any better?

Jennifer said...

I don't feel worse. Not sure if I really feel better.

Miss Ash said...

Oh you went in. Well go again if it made you feel better and if not, there is always chocolate to boost your spirits :)

I get SAD too and it sucks.

Princess Pessimism said...

OH MY GOD!!! When I read that you went to the tanning bed, MY jaw just about hit the ground. I cant believe it....Of all people, you were the LAST I ever expected to go there. That would be like Me and Ashley going to a cattle slaughterhouse. *Vomit*...well, maybe not THAT extreme, but you get the point.

I'm proud of you though...good for you on trying to fight S.A.D.

Jennifer said...

PP, you're so right, it really is beyond out of character for me. I felt very strange being in there. Even though I've toyed with the idea every February for the last 5 years. I will be going back. In fact, I might give it another go tonight.
I actually considered wearing sunscreen while I was in there... but I realized that that was kind of silly, and just covered my face and neck with a towel.

core said...

maybe we can start swimming again, when i'm not a mass of cold/flu symptoms.

the total beach experience.

Jennifer said...

You think everything is a reason to go swimming. The pool is still broken, but I'll let you know the minute it's fixed, hopefully you and the pool will be fixed soon.