Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Dere's Snakes Out Dere Dis Beeeg?!

So, as some of you already know, I hate my job. I'm not just carping. If my job was a movie it would be "Sleeping With The Enemy" and I'd be Julia Roberts. My second day back from my trip to Paris the boss came out to chastise me for forgetting to take the mail with me at the end of the day. Now, if you send something by mail at work, it's not a big rush, if it was a big rush you'd courier it. Having said that, by the time I drop the mail in the box on my way home the last pick-up of the day is already gone, so if I notice that I forgot and run down at 9 am, it still gets there just as quick. So the boss reads me a passage from an email that the president of the company (Julia Robert's crazy husband) sent her, "The mail has been forgotten several times..... We don't pay Jennifer to remind her." Firstly, I've been here 4 months, so far before this time, I'd forgotten the mail once. So that's a couple at most, not several. Secondly, my first day back from vacation and while I did forget the mail, I did remember to take some late Fed Ex packages and go out of my way to drop them in a Fed Ex drop box that night, on the first day back from vacation. That was when I decided to quit my job.
I also decided to be smart about it and not quit as a knee jerk reaction, but to look around for jobs first and to stay until I had paid off my credit card and covered my rent for next month and a few little necessities like that.
So last night I had a dream that I was in the water for some reason, there were flamingos and swans, and all of a sudden there was a largish poisonous snake there. I grabbed the snake by the head and held its mouth shut. This goes on for a while the snake is thrashing around trying to get away so it can bite me, I start getting tired and it starts winning the battle. It gets its mouth open, it's even got it's teeth against my hands, I can see the grooves in the teeth where the poison goes into your skin and I'm about to loose the battle when my alarm goes off.
What do you guys think that's all about? Should I not have watched a show about shark attacks right before bed? Is it work? Is work the snake that's about to bite me? I have an exam coming up at school - but around exams I usually dream about rats. In fact, I can't say that I ever remember dreaming about snakes.
Anyway, if anyone knows of any good jobs that are available let me know, in the mean time, I think I'll be sleeping with some anti-venom next to the bed.

17 comments:

paul said...

I think the snake represents hurricane wilma and the awful things it's doing to the people of florida. clearly the 8 people who died should be ahead of the 70000+ in pakistan, because the 8 people here at least potentially could have been white.

and speaking of white, wilma's aftermath is bringing SNOW in northern new brunswick today.

Jennifer said...

Well, it's probably because there are no resorts in Pakistan. I've noticed that while there is little to no coverage about any of the storm damage in any of the Caribean, the resorts are getting lots of coverage - oh those poor poor tourists with all their money to go on vacation and their undamaged home to go home to - having to sleep in a community centre until Air Canada comes to pick you up - my heart is breaking for all of them.

Also there will be no further mention of snow in Canada on this blog. It is fall here, fall I tell you! And it will be fall on this blog until futher notice.

paul said...

apparently after the tsunami there was a fantastic cover on a european magazine showing the two sides of the deaths in thailand: some poor fishing community, and a white man with his arms around a group of prostitutes.

Jennifer said...

It was so kind of that white man to comfort those poor prostitutes.

paul said...

maybe you should just stop watching anacondas before bed. that's the kind of movie that could give anyone nightmares, especially if they have a sense of geography or taste.

maybe you should watch a brilliant commentary on modern society like K-PAX instead. bleah.

meredith said...

I'm just surprised that the email didn't say: "we don't pay Jennifer to write about us in her blog"...your job sucks! I hope you find new one soon.

Jennifer said...

Dude, if they were tracking my internet usage, they'd axe me right here, right now. This is the first job I've ever had where I've been goofing off when I had other work to do. That's how unmotivated I am to get anything done.
Speaking of which, am I eligible for EI, how long do you have to have had a job to be eligible and do you have to get fired? or can you quit?

Paul, I can't believe you accused me of watching Anacondas - the sequel - at least be kind and say I was watching the less bad, but still terrible original with JLo.

Hey, by the way, does anyone (in Toronto) want to go to a talk tonight about the slaughter of great apes for food? It's at U of T. Perhaps I'll just put up a whole blog about it instead of hiding it in the comments.

paul said...

I've accused you of worse, I'm sure.

I think the EI qualification is 910 hours on your ROE, but I'm not sure how it works in toronto.

and why would you want to go to a bushmeat lecture when dame edna's in town?

Jennifer said...

It's true, Dame Edna is almost as entertaining as bushmeat! But between humans and Gorillas, Gorillas are my favourite primates. Besides, they promised to talk about Bonobos - and everyone knows the thing that's interesting about Bonobos! Wink! Wink!

Jennifer said...

Oh, and I roughly calculated, I only have 484.5 hours at this job. I don't think I can double that. In fact I'm pretty sure I can't.

Px said...

i was going to say something...but i forgot

it was probably to do with the snake being an anthropomorphic representation (seriously doubt those are the right words, but they look good :)) of a repressed sexual urge

but then i think everything is related back to sex, i'm kinda freudian sometimes

Jennifer said...

Hey! Hey! Keep it clean! My mom could be reading this!
Just kidding, you don't have to keep it clean, but my mom *could* be reading this.
PX, I've been reading your blog with PP, you two are hilarious! I was sorry to hear that your trivia night date didn't work out.

Px said...

i was keeping it clean, i didn't swear or use any of the vast euphamisms i know...i'm a clean bunny
and thanks for the sympathy

Princess Pessimism said...

Jenny - i think your snake represents your job, and although at first, you were feeling strong about it, and did your job, but now it's starting to wear away at you, and its leaving lasting impressions on how much your struggling, but arent getting anywhere. I think you should find a new job love......

Miss Ash said...

What's so great about Bonobos....and you want to keep it clean haha. You cannot quit a job if you would like to collect EI. You must be layed off or some other such thing. If you quit they will not give it to you because you had a job.

Jennifer said...

That's what I figured. But is it true that you need 910 hours on your ROE before you can get EI? That seems like an awful lot.

PP, I think you are spot on about the snake being my job. Ugh. TGIF!
Too bad I have a meeting with my boss in a couple of minutes.

When I started here, every time we had one of these meetings I was afraid she was firing me. Now I hope for it.

Miss Ash said...

Just call EI and ask them. That was a rule before though i'm pretty sure a co-worker once told me it was not the norm anymore. They may have set different standards now.