Friday, February 23, 2007

Female Ejaculation and the G-spot

So I was minding my own business this morning, reading Perezhilton.com, when the mail came in, I was busy with my celeb gossipt, so I left it for a while. Then my boss came by and started flipping through the mail in the hopes that there was something interesting in there, when she pointed out a book or DVD from Amazon. I assumed that was the one my co-worker was telling me she was expecting, some heart warming South African tale of a boy and his dog. The package didn't have any addressee on it, so I ripped it open to see if it was indeed the dog DVD. Never in a million years did I imagine that the book inside would be titled Female Ejaculation and the G-Spot. Who gets sexual manuals delivered to the office with no name on them so that I'll open them!? Who does that!
After I opened it I closed it right back up and put it down. The boss had a look and then we cackled about it for a while. My first impulse was to send around an email saying nothing about opening it, but just that a package had arrived with no name on it and would anyone who had ordered anything please come by and see if it was theirs. My boss on the other hand thought I should write an email to the whole office apologizing for opening it, and not mentioning the contents and put it in the mail room for the culprit to come and claim it.
After the dust settled, I decided to have another look and see if there was a receipt in the package. Sure enough, I found out the culprit's name. Then a minute later my boss called me and asked if there was a receipt. I said yes, but that she'd have to do something for me if she wanted to know whose name was on it. I set my price at a cup of tea, a bar of chocolate and a doughnut.
Then we agreed that the first person we thought of when we wondered to ourselves who had ordered the book was the most unlikely, humourless person in the office, a woman I like to call 'The Stickler'. Then we both agreed that if it had been hers we really wanted her to have it in the hopes that she'd lighten up.
The boss waited a few minutes and then went to the mail room to see whose mailbox I'd put it in. Of course, I didn't put it in the mail room, I put it in a secure location. The culprit's dirty little secret is safe with me, and he or she can come and claim the dirty book, for the price of a cup of tea, a doughnut and a chocolate bar.

5 comments:

Miss Ash said...

Oh why oh why did you not send out an email to the entire staff asking the person to claim their "female ejaculation and the G spot" book at the reception desk??? Come on, it would have been freaking hilarious.

Jessica said...

Maybe for you!

tokyo tintin said...

This also happens to me all the time.

Princess Pessimism said...

LOL!!!...i was just thinking about posting something about blackmail. I wasnt sure if I Was going to...but your post has inspired me to do so.

Kenn Chaplin said...

Maybe you could find a roughed-up copy of The Vagina Monologues poster to crazy-glue on a pole (as in utility pole...as in street light nearby or pillar in the office.)