Saturday, January 21, 2006

Twisted Ass Freaks The World Over

I think the love of discussing bowels crosses all cultures. My number one poop conversation pal is from Bangladesh where they could talk about poop till the cows come home.
You know how the Inuit are supposed to have so many words for snow? Well in Bangladesh I only learned a handfull of the poop words so I could describe what was happening to me, but I understand that there were many more.
Also Erica Jong in one of her books discusses one of the reasons why she hated living in Germany, she said that the German toilets have a little raised area where your shit generally lands when you go so that you can take a good look at it before you flush it down and she thought that was perverse. I'd write about the wonders of the Japanese toilets but I'm not speaking about the Japanese at the moment except to talk about their whaling, they are on my shit list and not in a good way.
Personally I think you can learn a lot from checking out what's in the toilet when you are done. In fact, I've been doing this cleanse, I think I mentioned it in the previous post as the cause of my urgent need to go to the bathroom. Anyway, they say that the first couple of days on the cleanse can be somewhat unpleasant as all the toxins and things start to pass out of your body and all that. So yesterday I wasn't feeling so good, our friend who does this cleanse a few times a year came over and I told him (jokingly) that I was holding him personally responsible for my dicomfort and the fact that I couldn't have all the things I was craving. I kept bitching and moaning about the whole thing until almost the time when he was leaving. Right before he left he pointed out that after a few days on the cleanse the stuff you start pooping out gets really really weird, and interesting. It changed my attitude all together I switched from complaining about feeling terrible and all the foods I was craving to jumping up and down with anticipation of what wild and wonderful things might come out of my ass in a couple of days. I can't wait. Seriously, I'm not kidding, this is going to be so much fun, god knows what's lurking in my bowels!
Has anyone ever seen the website Peole submit pictures of their poo and then you click on the bar over the picture to rate it and then it shows you the next picture, you could do it for hours. It's hilarious, sick and twisted. If anything really good comes out, I might have a good submission for the site. Do I seem like a twisted ass freak now? Sometimes that's the price you pay for writing personal blogs. Anyway, I'm off to drink some laxative tea, I'll let you all know when the fun starts!

1 comment:

Princess Pessimism said...

OHHH Jenny....LOL! I was SO worried about your b/f having to drum all night. Thank god you cleared it up that you could time your pooping.